Matthew 5:31-32

Matthew 5:31-32

And it was being said, “Whoever should divorce his wife, let him give written evidence of the divorce to her.”  But I say to you all that everyone who divorces his wife – except for the reason of sexual immorality – makes her commit adultery.  And whoever should marry her having been divorced, he commits adultery.

Thoughts for Today

First Thought:

Let’s talk about sex.  Often when the Jewish leaders want to talk about sex or marriage, they try to take Jesus back to the Law.  But when Jesus talks about marriage, Jesus usually references the first few chapters of Genesis.  See Matthew 19:1-12 as a great example of this.  But the truth is that God created man and woman because it was not good for man to be alone.  He needed someone else to complete him.  After all, God is not alone, He is a Triune God.  If we are created in His image, it should be natural for us to think that we should be with another, too.  In this relationship, sex can be a very good and creative thing – bringing two people together in the unity of one act in a way that is unique to them.  That is the context in which Jesus frames good sex and marriage.  Therefore, sex outside of the marriage union is by definition a destructive force to the relationship and simply not something that God intended to be experienced by humans who are not married.  That is the context that Jesus brings to this teaching on divorce.

Do you believe this understanding of sex?  Do you think the world believes this teaching on sex?  What do you think are the cultural consequences of taking a position on sex other than this?

Second Thought:

 Now let’s talk about culture.  It has been said that there was no time in human history where marriage was in greater jeopardy of extinction than the time of Jesus Christ.  The Roman Empire had a horrible view of marriage.  Sure, they married.  But their idea of marriage often accepted ideas of extra-marital affairs, gay sex, and group sex as normal parts of marriage.  A Roman man may have a wife at home, a younger boyfriend at the bathhouse, and a group of people who routinely came over to participate in group sexuality.  They married, but sexuality was exercised well outside the bonds of marriage!  Then we have the Jews.  The Jews as a whole were typically repulsed by the idea of sex outside of marriage – although prostitution certainly was present in Jewish culture.  But the main problem in Jewish culture was that the man had all the power.  It was said among the rabbis that “a woman could be divorced without her will, but a man could only be divorced with his will.”  Men held all the power in the marriage.  Marriage was no union of equals; it was just another social contract where the man held all the power.  In Judaism in the time of Christ, marriage was not a joyful union but an arrangement intended to benefit the man.  In Jesus’ day, marriage was under attack from all sides.  Marriage was under attack from the extremely power-hungry ultra-legalistic perspective as well as the cultural perspective that believes we should be allowed to do anything that brings us pleasure.  It is into this cultural context that Jesus talks about divorce.

How do you perceive marriage?  Is marriage a union of equals in your mind and in your experience?  How does the modern culture around you view marriage?

Third Thought:

Having said all of this, what is Jesus saying here about marriage, divorce, and human sexuality?  First of all, if we combine this teaching with the teaching we find on divorce in Matthew 19:1-12 we see something interesting.  Divorce is not against the law, for Moses allowed divorce.  But divorce is wrong in principle.  God never intended for divorce to happen.  In fact, in Malachi 2:16 God specifically says, “I hate divorce.”  {The ESV translates it a bit differently; but the NIV, NRSV, and NASB all concur.}  Moses was allowed to write a condition for divorce not because God desired it but because God realized that human hearts were hard an unwilling to love as we should love.  So what we can understand about God’s position on this topic can actually be reduced to a pretty simple teaching.  First, a human being can get divorced and not break the Law.  It is not God’s will, but God permits it because he understands that not all human beings can live up to their promises.  Second, yesterday we learned that sex outside of marriage is wrong.  It is either fornication or adultery.  Today we learn from Jesus that people who have been married and have sex with someone other than the original person to whom they were married commit adultery.  {Of course, we must also understand that this doesn’t apply to widows.  The death of a spouse is entirely different than the divorce of one’s spouse.  Jesus also tells us that sexual infidelity is another reason where a person can be divorced and not be an adulterer.}

Is this a tough stance on marriage and human sexuality?  Why do you think people are so willing to overlook this teaching of Jesus?  Where do you fall on the spectrum of needing to advocate for the law in the regard and loving people with the grace and mercy of God?  Why is this a difficult place to navigate Law and grace?

Passage for Tomorrow: Matthew 5:33-37